Showing posts with label Journeys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Journeys. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A fart without a sense of purpose is not a fart at all.

The Lineup:
Attention tourists! Here's one way to discover a sense of direction: fart, then walk the OPPOSITE way. You'll get where you're going in no time. Way to fit in with the locals! Also, look for her to start fanning that map any second.

Fart Factor:
6 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:
The guy who is obviously mid-squeeze.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Mall Flatulanders

If you've never heard of Journeys, next time you're at a mall, look somewhere between the Structure and the Hot Topic. It's there. And their excellent Holiday catalog gives a revealing look at its target audience: teens who like to bundle up while 'hanging loose' and 'chillin' indoors.


The lineup: Unisex Canvas Jacket with Pockets, $39.95; Women's Chocolate Nylon jacket with faux fur trim, $45.00; Plaid Thermal, $24.00; White Fur Hoodie, $40.00, and "Fresh To Death" T-Shirt, Charcoal, $20.00.


Unisex Canvas Jacket is ALL denial. Like he even does that. Come on, guys, seriously!


The trio of women's wear aren't even hearing it. They're all like, "We totally heard you, so don't even act like you didn't!"


Meanwhile, late-twentysomething-trying-to-look-teenager is all, "Dude. Don't even look here for any backup. Like, you're on your own. And I'm in the military, by the way."

Fart Factor: 7.8 out of 10

Most likely fart suspect: In case you thought maybe he was too cool to do something as stupid as fart in front of chicks, consider this: