Who Farted Photos

A blog dedicated to finding the source of the leak.

Showing posts with label inchoate. Show all posts

Friday, March 6, 2009

And Yet Another Unfortunate Album Cover

Alternate titles: Squeezed Dreams, Eurfarting, and No More I Love Yous.

Posted by Estoye at 1:58 PM No comments:

Labels: ballplayers, gas chamber, inchoate

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Fart Musings 3

I bet you could fart at the Vicks Vaporub factory and get away with it.

Advice Corner #13

Snorting cocaine in a bathroom? Try to get over the fact that people are farting near you while you inhale. #sharetheroad

Advice Corner #12

Here's a fun game: When finishing up a meeting, try to fart at the EXACT TIME someone says the words "next steps."

Advice Corner #11

The next time someone yawns near you without covering their mouth, fart. That'll teach them.

Ahhhhh. That's better.

Fart Musings 2

You know a good song to be playing when you fart and end up shitting your pants? "Make It Real" by The Jets.

Advice Corner #10

If you fart while lost in a labyrinth, fuck it, right? You're lost!

Advice Corner #9

If you ever fart in an elevator, and the sound it makes sounds like someone saying "Paul," you better pray to God that no one in the elevator is named Paul.

Advice Corner #8

If your wife ever farts and then starts apologizing for it, that is the perfect time for YOU to fart, when she's mid-sentence.

BRAAAAAAP!

Advice Corner #7

Sometimes shopkeepers will tell you not to fart in their antique store because of all the fragile merchandise. But that's total bullshit.

Fun Fact 10

Little Known Fact: If you fart in a pawn shop, that automatically resets all negotiations.

Fart Musings

It probably would have been cool to sit for a portrait for Van Gogh, because you could fart. Because of the one ear and all.

Fun Fact 9

Have you ever felt pain when farting? Because that's fucked up.

Advice Corner #6

Farted in an overcoat? Just walk more briskly!

Advice Corner #5

If you fart at Cinnabon, hardly anyone will notice, because of all the cinnamon.

Fun Fact 8

People who fart when they cough often complain of feeling really deflated

Christina Hendricks

Sure, she's gorgeous. But why in every photo of her does she look like she's cut a big fart and dares you to tell on her?

Factoid 4

Many health experts say that a good indication that you're getting dehydrated is if you fart a tumbleweed.

Advice Corner #7

If you're ever hiding from an assassin in a box full of styrofoam peanuts, farting will get you killed.

Advice Corner #6

If you ever ask your boss for a raise, and he does nothing but let out a long, wet fart while maintaining eye contact with you the whole time, I think you have your answer.

Cultural Corner 4

Very dumb dogs are sometimes startled by their own farts. Same goes for women.

Factoid 3

It's a well-known fact that if you fart loudly at the exact time that someone else yells "Bingo," you get to claim half of the winnings.

Quick Tip 14

Have you ever farted during a breast exam? Just blame the doctor for squeezing too hard.

Cultural Corner 3

You know those fancy mattresses where you can jump all you want and it doesn't disturb a wine glass? They work for farts, too.

Cultural Corner 2

Making one big fart is healthier for your nervous system than a series of small ones. Don't ask me how I know. I can just feel it.

Factoid 2

If someone you know farts, and it smells of melon, chances are you're just dreaming.

Fun Fact 7

Have you ever smelled a dead body? Yes? You won't mind if I fart, then.

Quick Tip 13

If you shift in a wicker chair while farting, no one will be the wiser. Except for the smell. Good Lord.

Cultural Corner

In Belgium, it's considered good manners to fart really loudly to thank a host for a good meal. Even if they look offended, trust us, they really appreciate it.

Fun Fact 6

In the 70's, many a key party were broken up from someone farting on the waterbed.

Aww, man!

A Fun Project

Fart on a ski lift and see if anyone below notices.

Factoid

Farting in general is inconsiderate. But there are some situations when it's just plain rude.

Q&A 4

Have you ever wondered who that is farting in Yoga Class? It's Amanda.

Q&A 3

People can sometimes burp the alphabet, so why can't they fart the alphabet? Well, because something terrible usually happens around "J."

Fun Fact 5

If you get your hands on a police taser, you can pretty much make anyone fart on cue.

Advice Corner #5

Farting is often an involuntary response to stress. So you shouldn't feel too bad about it when it happens, okay? Okay.

Apple Whoopie Cushion Widget (thanks, Vince!)

http://www.apple.com/downloads/dashboard/justforfun/whoopeecushionwidget.html

Fun Fact 4

Anyone who tells you that farts smell like sulfur hasn't smelled mine after a trip to Outback. Seriously.

Fun Fact 3

Do women fart during childbirth? You can bet your sweet fucking ass they do.

Quick Tip 12

If there were a point system, I bet farting in a crowded elevator would be up there.

Advice Corner #4

Whenever I fart really loudly, and somebody says 'Better check your pants,' I always want to say 'FUCK YOU. I got a handle on this.'

Advice Corner #3

If you could hold your fart until after your parole hearing, that would be best.

Advice Corner #2

Do you like lots of garlic in your food? Well, be prepared to deal with the consequences later when you fart.

Quick Tip 11

Remember: Farting on a tandem bicycle is cool to only one of you.

An Important Word To Know!

Fun Fact 2

Jordin Sparks' megahit "No Air" was written after a sound engineer farted in the recording booth. True story!

Quick Tip 10

If you ever get kicked out of a salad bar for farting, keep loading up your plate. They can't make you put it back.

Advice Corner

If you ever meet someone who says they never fart, don't believe them. That is some bullshit.

Quick Tip 9

If you ever fart at a funeral, keep crying. People will get over it.

Q&A 2

What's the difference between making a fart and a shart? Patience.

Quick Tip 8

Next time you have to fart, slice an apple in half. That way, when you're finished farting, you have two apple halves to eat!

Quick Tip 7

After farting in a car, don't roll down the window. Turn up the heat!

Quick Tip #6

Beer farts. Man, they're the worst.

Q&A

When strippers fart, is there a cloud of glitter? Sometimes.

Quick Tip 5

Fart near Sally Struthers whenever possible. It's easy to blame it on her.

Quick TIp 4

At a French restaurant? Need to fart? Shoot it out when the cheese platter is presented. No one will know!

Quick Tip

Don't fart in the shower. The falling water won't prevent it from wafting up.

Quick Tip 2

Commuting? Need to pass gas? Just fart in a revolving door– it's like roulette with bad smells!

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* Fun Fact *

When your girlfriend sternly asks you "Did you fart?" it's not really a question. She already knows the answer.

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