Old Fart, or That's Not a Motorcycle Sound

Here's a lovely photo clipped from the British paper "Mail." Yep.

Blast From the Past

The Lineup: Grandma, YOU, and Mom, circa 1970.

Fart Factor: 5 out of 10. The two adults in the room are pretty incredulous, but you seem either oblivious to the smell or are proud of what you just farted out.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Grandma. She farted so hard the silver in the cabinet darkened.

Oi! That Stinks!

The lineup: Four over-the-hill "hardcore" punk rockers. I imagine their names are like Donny Dirt, Terry Bull, Razor Gash, and Mongo. And apparently they're not big on fascism in their apartment complex.

Fart Factor: A weak 2 out of 10. The semi-closed quarters of a terracotta alley still allows for plenty of aerating. Still, these anarchists are unhappy about the fart. Donny is upset enough to report this noise violation to the housing commission. The smell distracted Terry Bull, making him forget where he left his reading glasses. Razor Gash wonders if the smell is actually the new mulch on the rhododendrons by the poolhouse. Mongo cannot find his aerobie.

Most likely fart suspect: The fucking fucker FASCISTS! Just kidding. It was Terry.