Who Was That?

Editor's Note: Good God, it's almost been TWO YEARS since the last post?!

The Lineup: Christopher 1,  Christopher 2, Christopher 3, Christopher 4.

Fart Factor: A solid 4 out of 4. The tension between them is tangible. And smellable.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Take your pick- you'll be correct.

But It Smells Like Detroit.

The Lineup: Peter Sarsgaard, Sienna Miller, and the server from Bennigan's who would like to know if I'm interested in Tanked Wings, Hoagie-Stogies or B-Bite Sliders this evening or if he'd like to just start me out with a drink order.

Fart Factor: Way high. About an 8.87. Sarsgaard plays it cool, not trying to make any eye contact through all the lens flares. Sienna, however, knows what's up already. And the server from Bennigan's is sorry, but they're out of both Guinness Glazed Chicken & Shrimp and the Black & Bleu Bacon Burger, but they can make a Tavern Melt really quickly, if I'd like that.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Bennigan's. Either the melted American cheese or the sautéed onions were enough to cause my ass to start a Happy Birthday clap song.

Knowledge of Pew.

The Lineup:

Three studious students hit the books. One pushes out his inner demons.

The chick on the left could easily pass for a college catalog photo--the smell obviously hasn't hit her yet. On the right, we start to get a hint of trauma: we can see that this one is smiling, but it's not a comfortable one. She's saying through her clenched teeth, "why does my old and balding classmate's ass smell like a bison?" That, of course, can mean only one thing-it was the man in the middle.

Fart Factor:

6 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Subject:

The dude. You can tell by the look on his face that he's slightly proud of himself. Plus, there's absolutely no appearance of self-consciousness on his part. Kudos, and fart on!