A Jennifer Aniston Two-Fer

The lineup: A shrunken Vince Vaughn and Jen in a Dutch oven scenario. They're both trying to hold down the covers, but the walls are already starting to darken.

Fart Factor: Pretty high. Say, 8.3 out of 10. Vince knows he did. Jen knows he did. That's why they're not talking anymore.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Doi.



The lineup: Kevin Hairpiecetner, Mark Ruffafro, Crazy Reincarnation Lady, and Jen. Clouds indicate lots of little ass-leaks instead of one big one.

Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. Kevin sez, "Good one." Mark sez, "Good one." Shirley sez, "How dare you," and Jen wonders where her navel went.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Surprisingly, Angelina Jolie!

Why Shoot At All?

The lineup: To a hapless geek, Lord Voldemort, Bullseye, and Professor Alastor 'Mad Eye' Moody. To normal filmgoers, the pussy from English Patient, Alexander the Great, and the fat guy who got zombie blood in his eye in 28 Days Later.

Fart Factor: 7.3 out of 10. Ralph Fiennes (annoyingly pronounced Raph Fine or something like that) looks puzzled but amused. Colin Farrell seems defensive, even with a gun in his hand. Brendan Gleeson just looks disappointed in it all. And the swan thinks its mate is calling.

Most likely fart suspect: Colin Farrell is obviously lactose intolerant. It's causing cramping and farts that even an overcoat can't hide.