Heads In The Clouds

The Lineup: Five dramatic heads sit in a dark cloud of ass. John Huston, Peter Bogdanovich and some other respected Hollywood royalty breathe it in.

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. Everyone seems resigned to their fate, except the naked lady in the field, who seems okay with it all.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The naked lady in the field, duh.

A Great Source For Gas

So I discovered the motherlode of terrific "Who Farted" photos in an unexpected source: Soap Opera Digest. Who knew?

C-C-C-Cold-Farted

The Lineup: Paula Abdul and the proud, sculpted likeness of the Greek god Mercury in a leather jacket, both starring in the straight-to-video romance "Harlequi$4.99 Sweet Deals"

Fart Factor: A dense 8 out of 10. Paula looks acutely ashamed of the blue mist she left her friend in. He however, tries to nobly hold his breath for as long as he can. Paula leans on a nearby wall either out of exhaustion or because she's drunk again.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Simon! What?????

An Incorrect Title.

The Lineup: HOLY CRAP, IT'S THE GUY FROM "SERENITY"...no, wait just some guy; HOLY CRAP, IT'S REESE WITHERSPOO...no, that's not her either; HOLY CRAP, IT'S BRAD P... shit, this movie is full of nobodies.

Fart Factor: High. 8 out of 10. The guy with the rope bracelet is saying, "You're not fooling anybody, Reese Witherspoon. The dude packing looks at the camera as if to say, "Can you believe she just farted in front of everybody?" And Reese Witherspoon lookalike is just glad the rupture didn't make her boobs fall out.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Since she never admitted to it, we're going to have to declare a mistrial here. Everyone is dismissed.