Must...Fan...Air...

The Lineup: The extremely hot Diane Lane, the extremely likeable John Cusack, and the extremely flatulent Walter the Farting Dog.


Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. Diane hotly tries to deflect suspicion away from herself, directing all attention to John...


...but John isn't having it. She's such a scamp that way, that woman! He shoots back a look that says, "No, honey, that was not me" and sends the attention to...


..."Aww man. Why is always blamed on me? I mean, my diet consists mainly of dry dog food and water, so how can something that smells so bad be attributed to me? It's not like I've been the one making drunken trips to Del Taco at 4am. You know what? This is bullshit."

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Diane Lane.

Subway Wind Tunnel

The lineup: A mediocre TV show and a mediocre movie, together in the bowels of the New York Transit Authority.


Fart Factor: Overall, 7 out of 10. Joshua Jackson and Denethor, Steward of Gondor huddle behind the super-hot Anna Torv for shelter from the ass gas. Joshua thinks he thought it coming from over the hill. Denethor and the super-hot Anna Torv, however, accuse you, the viewer.


Meanwhile, Shia Laboeuoeuouef and the chick from MI:3 accuse each other of leaking the information. They're both equally offended, but only one is the true shooter.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: I guess her name is Michelle Monaghan. Whatever. Take her away, boys.