Do You Smell Dog?

The Lineup: Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, Agent Smith and Benicio Del Toro in the role he was born to play.

Fart Factor: 6.2 out of 10. Suddenly Hannibal Lecter isn't hungry. Emily Blunt can't understand how some people can be so darn rude. Hugo Weaving can't get the smell out of his 'stache. Benicio smells so bad already, he can't even tell the difference.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The wolf. Because everyone blames the dog.

Must...Fan...Air...

The Lineup: The extremely hot Diane Lane, the extremely likeable John Cusack, and the extremely flatulent Walter the Farting Dog.


Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. Diane hotly tries to deflect suspicion away from herself, directing all attention to John...


...but John isn't having it. She's such a scamp that way, that woman! He shoots back a look that says, "No, honey, that was not me" and sends the attention to...


..."Aww man. Why is always blamed on me? I mean, my diet consists mainly of dry dog food and water, so how can something that smells so bad be attributed to me? It's not like I've been the one making drunken trips to Del Taco at 4am. You know what? This is bullshit."

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Diane Lane.

You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Inhale

The lineup: Peanut, Santa, and Christy. Or is it Christy, Santa, and Peanut? Which one's Peanut? Who gives a shit?

Fart Factor: 4 out of 10. Dogs' heightened sense of smell might explain why the two pooches– Peanut in particular– are so rigid and uncomfortable. 16-year old Santa, however, looks like he's concentrating hard on not fainting.

Most likely fart suspect: Peanut. He farted so hard, light shot out of his fucking eyes.