The PseudoTemple of Poot

The Lineup: Richard Chamberlain, because his name had the closest syllables to "Allan Quatermain," and that woman who built an entire film career from showing her pussy. Yeah, and I know it's a drawing rather than a photo, but fuck off.


Fart Factor: A feeble 5 out of 10, despite the actors' best efforts.


Allan Chambermain smells something terrible and wants to shoot it.


Sharon Stone also smells something terrible and wants to shoot it, but right after she flashes her vagina.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Look closely at the poster.


Richard Quaterlain is wafting away the poot, which originates from SHARON STONE! DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!

Fat Fart in a Little Car.

The Lineup:

Here's an idea: let's pack the family into a '92 Geo Metro and hit the beach! Of course, we all know what that means: today's forecast calls for noxious fumes packed tightly into very uncomfortable surfaces. This group is young but experienced. The gassy older brother with the dumb look on his face is flanked by his annoyed little brother and sister. The younger brother's t-shirt does a bang-up job of enumerating what he's feeling at the moment, and the sister doesn't let her car seat hold back what she thinks of the stench--she's very disappointed. One can only imagine what mom and dad are doing in the front seat. Probably waving newspapers and cranking the AC. Dad's probably slightly proud too. I can picture him hanging his arm out the window in a quiet celebration saying to himself, "now that's what America stands for." Can't say that I disagree.

Fart Factor:

10 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Subject:

The older brother--With a perfect 10 out of 10 rating, he's our first All-Star farter.