Sound Effect Not Needed

The Lineup: Speed Buggy, Not Fred, Not Daphne, and Not Shaggy

Fart Factor: 8 for loudness. 3 for mystery. The human trio all looking at Speed as if he's right in the middle of one hell of a skidmark-making road ripper. And all three of them apparently sporting wood, too.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:Daphne! Trademark twist ending! BRRRRRAAAP!!

The wheels on the bus go pffth pffth pffth.

The Lineup:

Four hungover college students from Texas A&M take the bus back from a debaucherous, regretful evening in which they probably all did each other and don't remember any of it.

Fart Factor:

6 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

If nothing else, one thing is prevalent throughout all facial expressions in this photo: apathy. From the girl begrudgingly texting to her friend thinking about whether or not her compadre wore protection, everyone's defeated at this point. The day-after beer fart let loose by the guy in the sunglasses garners a half-second of entertainment in a sea of bleakness for his orange-shirted buddy, but don't be fooled: this day has no hope. No one else even notices, or cares.

Fat Fart in a Little Car.

The Lineup:

Here's an idea: let's pack the family into a '92 Geo Metro and hit the beach! Of course, we all know what that means: today's forecast calls for noxious fumes packed tightly into very uncomfortable surfaces. This group is young but experienced. The gassy older brother with the dumb look on his face is flanked by his annoyed little brother and sister. The younger brother's t-shirt does a bang-up job of enumerating what he's feeling at the moment, and the sister doesn't let her car seat hold back what she thinks of the stench--she's very disappointed. One can only imagine what mom and dad are doing in the front seat. Probably waving newspapers and cranking the AC. Dad's probably slightly proud too. I can picture him hanging his arm out the window in a quiet celebration saying to himself, "now that's what America stands for." Can't say that I disagree.

Fart Factor:

10 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Subject:

The older brother--With a perfect 10 out of 10 rating, he's our first All-Star farter.