Special Guest Entry: "Congratulations, It's A Fart!"

Submitted by old school hip hop DJ John Reid, a terrible Lindsay Lohan vehicle:


The Lineup: Lindsay Lohan looks up at us as we catch her farting an M.

Fart Factor: 8 out of 10. Lindsay's been doing so much coke, she glows and apparently reeks of urine. This has affected her gastrointestinal tract, causing her to excrete out offensive bits of gas. Most recently, "I Know Who Killed Me" and "Herbie Fully Loaded."

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Lindsay, although she'll most likely blame her Dad.

This One's Too Easy

I mean, the title of the movie, the look on the kids' faces, even the tagline are all such softballs for this website. I mean, why not just call it "Farty Farthing and the Forty Fartsters" while you're at it?

If this blog were a lion, it would give this movie poster to its young so they can learn to hunt.

That Big Bass Thump.

The Lineup: DJ GroceryClerk and DJ BrotherofGroceryClerkWhoNeedsToBorrowLikeFiveDollars

Fart Factor: 4 out of 10. At 120 beats per minute. One of them was hoping the "Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss" would hide his butt burst. But nope.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: DJ I'mTooLazyToTypeOutHisWholeNameAgain

Who Farted Freestyle--Rocky Balboa (2006)

Overall Fart Factor: 7

"I think I tore my Spandex."

The Lineup:

Three guys in Manhattan go running around the city. One lets it fly, then sees his gas propel him to victory. The others are forced to breathe his noxious fumes.

I've had this experience many times. And honestly, it's a conundrum. Whenever I run, I wear headphones, so I often let loose at will. There's no telling who hears it. I just keep running, so it doesn't really affect me.

Fart Factor:

5.5 out of 10

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

I think it's pretty obvious.

You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Inhale

The lineup: Peanut, Santa, and Christy. Or is it Christy, Santa, and Peanut? Which one's Peanut? Who gives a shit?

Fart Factor: 4 out of 10. Dogs' heightened sense of smell might explain why the two pooches– Peanut in particular– are so rigid and uncomfortable. 16-year old Santa, however, looks like he's concentrating hard on not fainting.

Most likely fart suspect: Peanut. He farted so hard, light shot out of his fucking eyes.