In Need of a Silencer.

The Lineup:

"Hitman," UK box office smash, featuring the protagonist and his piercing blue eyes, likely femme fatale with sideboob, and my that's a long gun.

Fart Factor:

9 out of 10

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

The hitman. You can see the noxious stink fumes on his jacket. Plus, sideboob looks upset.

No, Not In the Wind Tunnel!

The lineup: Mojo Morgan's Hoochie Coochie Band, self described as "A band whose every live performance is a powerful energetic mixture of Alternative Rock giving 100%." Which means playing .38 Special and Steve Miller covers on $3 pitcher night.


Fart Factor: 6.5 out of 10. From left to right, Vocalist Mojo steadies himself as he lets eagles fly. Guitarist Simon sits through the ordeal, looking to the side for an escape. Bass player Nik leans over to separate the ass cheeks for a larger reverb effect. Stevie the drummer makes a mental note to check his pants after the shoot. And two people in the far distance argue over whether the band gets paid that night or not.

Most likely fart suspect: A twofer- Mojo and Nik. They're always playing lead, anyway.