Oxygen Mask, Please

I don't know what it is about Star Trek or William Shatner, but they both end up on this fart blog a lot.

The Lineup: The great, legendary Shatner, and the gremlin from the classic "Twilight Zone" episode.

Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. Shatner is ashamed. Or repulsed. Or distraught. Or terrified. Or wistful. And the gremlin cannot believe Shatner farted.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Subway Stink.

The Lineup:

Two multimillionaire sisters with a corporate empire, one actor with really bushy eyebrows. One is seemingly innocent, one is bug-eyed, Eugene is dying. I bet he looked like this often while on the set of American Pie with Seann William Scott, who probably farted so much it fogged Eugene's glasses.

Fart Factor:

8 out of 10

Most likely fart suspect:

Ashley. Or Mary-Kate. Whichever is on the left. Is she the one dating Lance Armstrong? Farting while biking is an interesting topic to be discussed at a later time.

Somebody Light a Match.

The lineup: A visibly perturbed Rosario Dawson, The People's Eyebrow, a grizzled Stifler, and Christopher Walken as Red Skelton. Rosario cannot BELIEVE what she just heard. The Rock was having a good time until somebody let one. Christopher Walken can smell it, but is too respected an actor to react. And I'm not even going to call him by his real name because he is totally acting Stifler right now.

**A sidenote: I understand that there's some unwritten rule about how the biggest star is listed first (on the left), but it just annoys the pissing shit out of me when it doesn't match up with the photos.

Fart Factor: 4 out of 10. You know who did it. I know who did it. The jig is up, and the smell is supplying plenty of methane to the jungle.

Most likely fart suspect: Steve Stifler. Hopefully his little brother Matt is behaving more maturely at American Pie: Band Camp.