There's a threat in the air.

The Lineup:

The chick from that seminal MTV teen show and gerbil guy. Given what could or could not have been going on "up there", it's surprising he hasn't made an appearance on this site before.

Claire is a deer in headlights. Richard, on the other hand, appears to be concentrating hard. Always a sign of guilty. Also, I've never heard of this movie.

Fart Factor:

6 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

They're both guilty.

"Her bosom heaved, her loins ached, his bottom crackled..."

The Lineup:

A blond God Fabio-look-alike wearing a championship wrestling belt, some sultry vixen. In the Harlequin world, farts become aphrodisiacs. The title alone makes that obvious.

Fart Factor:

7 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

Gabriel's massive chest rippled, bulged, and...I'm sorry, I can't write anymore. I'm lost in his arms.

That smells vapid.

After seeing this poster, I immediately decided anything written about foulness and bad smells would somehow feel redundant. So I'll be brief.

The Lineup:

2 famous-for-being-famous socialites bring awful odor to quintessential middle America.

Fart Factor:

7 out of 10

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

Nicole's nose is wrinkled in suspicion of stink. So we therefore must choose between a small dog and the other one. And I think we all know the answer.