You Could Cut The Fart Cloud With a Knife

The Lineup: A man and a woman. Maybe roommates. Maybe lovers?

Fart Factor:  A high 9 out of 10. The man dares the woman to accuse him. The woman gives right back, daring him to dare her to accuse him.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Look closely at the clouds- that shit is wafting from the left. IT'S THE MAN

The Stink of Insoles

Fashion photography has been woefully under-represented on this blog. So today we explore the fart situation of the home page of Florsheim Shoes:


The Lineup: Christian Bale-ish, Girl who looks like a fucking alien, and a younger, thinner Donal Logue.

Fart Factor: A medium 7 out of 10. Christian Bale-ish thought he heard the train's air brakes; Girl with enormous head with wide-set eyes and no ears tries to hurry by the smell, and young Donal Logue regrets not bringing a coat on the long trip.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Girl with tiny neck that can barely support her gigantic skull

That smells vapid.

After seeing this poster, I immediately decided anything written about foulness and bad smells would somehow feel redundant. So I'll be brief.

The Lineup:

2 famous-for-being-famous socialites bring awful odor to quintessential middle America.

Fart Factor:

7 out of 10

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

Nicole's nose is wrinkled in suspicion of stink. So we therefore must choose between a small dog and the other one. And I think we all know the answer.

Keep the Queen at arms length.

The lineup:

The royal guard. Or, at least, a crude, if somewhat smelly, imitation. Also appearing is that stupid girl who threw out the peace sign in the movie poster for this awful flick. In fact, that poster probably deserves its own post.It would appear that even as the guard changes, the smell lingers.

Fart factor:

6 out of 10.

Most likely fart suspect:

Sometimes, even a straight face can reveal a pained expression. Both of the guards farted, and the stupid girl things it's goddamn hilarious.