Not Just Strong. Army Strong.

(alternate title: Rear Admirals)


The lineup: Desperate Housewives, but not, because they're married to army guys, and it's on Lifetime instead of ABC. So it's totally different. And somebody farted.

Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. (Clockwise from the top) Sgt. Major Blondie is coy about the accusation. Corporal Vague Ethnicity is confident that she'll be exonerated. Private First Class Pantene Pro-V tries to ignore it altogether. Admiral Hey-That's-The-Girl-From-JAG-She's-Totally-Getting-Typecast thinks the P.F.C. dropped it. General Hoop Redhead won't be taking any shit– or gas– from Blondie anymore.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Pantene. Not asking and not telling totally doesn't work around here, baby.

The Young and the Pungent

The Lineup:

Laslow casts an accusatory glance. Chase stands idly by. Cecily owns up. 

It's your typical daytime drama.

Fart Factor:

8 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

Cecily. She's always steaming up trouble. 

Silent But Deadly.

The lineup: Seven of the wives from the polygamist compound in Colorado. Right now, they're all sharing more than just a husband. And in just a few minutes from now, the air will give them all perms.

Fart Factor: 4 out of 10. Driven by fear and shame, these ladies turn to CNN's Larry King to sort out the source of the gas leak. Larry thanks the gods the interview is being conducted via satellite.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The one with the Zune.