Cover Your Nose, Mouth, and Ass

From a Flu Prevention flyer I got at work:


The Lineup: Happy black chick, worried accountant lady, aloof white dude, concerned Asian woman, unconcerned young intern, white-haired dude who's breaking the fourth fucking wall, and Kristen Wiig who just saw the box office receipts for "MacGruber."

Fart Factor: a heavy, dense 8 out of 10. Black chick doesn't smell or care. Worried accountant just gagged, aloof white dude is thinking of a math solution to get him out of there, concerned Asian woman wonders what smells like kobe beef, unconcerned young intern is sexting her boyfriend who's cheating on her, white-haired dude SHOULD NOT BE LOOKING AT THE FUCKING CAMERA, and Kristen Wiig should not have taken the part in "MacGruber."

Most Likely Fart Suspect: (as circled by Tom Weingard):

Brundlefart

The Line Up: "Ah, well, you see...ah, we have three, ah, people there on the DVD, ah, cover...myself, Willem Dafoe, who ah, was great in "The English Patient," and, ah, some woman who I can't remember but who looks like, ah Anne Hathaway, yes."

Fart Factor: "Ah, I would say, ah, a 4 out of ten, yes... I look confused or embarrassed; maybe both. Willem Dafoe just looks tired, and ah, Anne Hathaway pretends she didn't even hear or, ah, smell it."

Most Likely Fart Suspect: "Who knows, ah? There's no predicting it. That's, ah, the beauty of Chaos Theory, yes."

The wheels on the bus go pffth pffth pffth.

The Lineup:

Four hungover college students from Texas A&M take the bus back from a debaucherous, regretful evening in which they probably all did each other and don't remember any of it.

Fart Factor:

6 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

If nothing else, one thing is prevalent throughout all facial expressions in this photo: apathy. From the girl begrudgingly texting to her friend thinking about whether or not her compadre wore protection, everyone's defeated at this point. The day-after beer fart let loose by the guy in the sunglasses garners a half-second of entertainment in a sea of bleakness for his orange-shirted buddy, but don't be fooled: this day has no hope. No one else even notices, or cares.