Spider-Pants Tingling!

The Lineup: Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy, and Miles Morales

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. Gwen doesn't need spider-senses to smell that whopper. Miles thinks it could be from a nearby lurker. And Peter oddly seems nonchalant.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: PLOT TWIST! THE RADIOACTIVE SPIDER

Heads In The Clouds

The Lineup: Five dramatic heads sit in a dark cloud of ass. John Huston, Peter Bogdanovich and some other respected Hollywood royalty breathe it in.

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. Everyone seems resigned to their fate, except the naked lady in the field, who seems okay with it all.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The naked lady in the field, duh.

STOP THAT TRAIN!

The Lineup: Somewhere between Norwood and Forest Hills, the train car with only two passengers has gotten too crowded. Shelby is on her way to an important lunch meeting. Karl is just riding for fun.

Fart Factor: By the surprised look on her face, 8. That thang be stankin'.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: No surprise twist here. It's him. Oh God, it's him.

Can You Hear Me, Lord?

Pictured above, a true believer lets out a cloud of yellow.

Album Cover Fartness

DID YOU KNOW? Fabolous—other than really fucking with your autocorrect—can pass entire gaseous planets after two breakfast burritos.

MR. CRACK!

Le Passé Gassé

Le Lineup: Deux hommes, une femme. Et l'odeur de la mort.

Le Factor de Fart: 8 sur 10. Les deux hommes se déclarent coupables, et la femme soupçonne la plus grande mec. Un paume d'or a été pendu pour dissiper la puanteur.

Probablement Suspect de Peté: Les sales Américains!

Okay, Who Did It Really?

A TV show I wouldn't be surprised is already canceled has a poster that I don't understand but don't care enough to clarify. These are all older versions of the kids who killed another kid years ago or something? Yawn.

The Lineup: This guy looking right, that guy looking left, that other guy looking bored, that last guy who showed up late and had to stand in the back, and Winona Ryder doppelgänger wishing she were the one cast in "Stranger Things" instead. Plus a group photo of children who just dumped another kid's body.

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. This guy challenges everyone else to accuse him of farting, That guy can't believe he's being challenged. That other guy hopes that didn't stain his last pair of clean underwear. That last guy is too far to smell whatever's going on, and the real Winona Ryder laughs as her doppelgänger stands in a cloud of warm butt. 

Most Likely Fart Suspect: BIG TWIST- it was the KIDS! The KIDS!

*Boring update: The Game of Silence iMDB page (yes, there really is one) says the show is "based on the true story of children (Ali Avcı, Metin Subaşı, Levent Hamurcu) who were sentenced in absentia to nine years in prison on the charge of stealing some baklava dessert in Gaziantep in 1997."