Old Farts and Open Air

Now, how did the format of this blog go again? It's been a while.

Oh, yeah.

The Lineup: Dr. Emmett Brown, Newman, two other old codgers, and a young couple, all shot separately in a studio and photoshopped into a stock image of a park.

Fart Factor: A suspicious 7 out of 10. Everyone's got side-eye at the two lovers, but the only person not making eye contact is the chick, and she's looking at the camera.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Dr. Brown. He's going to use that clipboard to fan it to the sky.

You Could Cut The Fart Cloud With a Knife

The Lineup: A man and a woman. Maybe roommates. Maybe lovers?

Fart Factor:  A high 9 out of 10. The man dares the woman to accuse him. The woman gives right back, daring him to dare her to accuse him.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Look closely at the clouds- that shit is wafting from the left. IT'S THE MAN

Smells Like Eggs

The Lineup: A bunch of floating heads, each with noses pointed at a different fart source.

Fart Factor: 8 out of 10. (from clockwise) Big Blonde detects a big one; Baseball Cap can't pinpoint if it's a skunk or an ass bomb; Waitress is unimpressed; Doof in the Middle thinks it may have been him; and Small Blonde kind of likes the smell.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: NOBODY. The place just reeks like that!

Making The Stable Smell Worse

The Lineup: A big sister, a little sister, and a horse from "Ostwind (German for Windstorm)".

Fart Factor: A coltish 8 out of 10. Big sis thinks she knows who did it. Lil' sis thinks she knows who did it. And the horse just wants an apple.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The little sister dropped a megabomb that made the horse rear and buck.

Slow Your Role!

The Lineup: Terrence Kingsby and Kelly Stimmet Davis in a wacky urban rom-com!

Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. Terrence knows something is up. Kelly tries to distract with a shiny ring, but the movie logo sits in a cloud of warm ass.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Kelly, duh!

Spider-Pants Tingling!

The Lineup: Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy, and Miles Morales

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. Gwen doesn't need spider-senses to smell that whopper. Miles thinks it could be from a nearby lurker. And Peter oddly seems nonchalant.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: PLOT TWIST! THE RADIOACTIVE SPIDER

Heads In The Clouds

The Lineup: Five dramatic heads sit in a dark cloud of ass. John Huston, Peter Bogdanovich and some other respected Hollywood royalty breathe it in.

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. Everyone seems resigned to their fate, except the naked lady in the field, who seems okay with it all.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The naked lady in the field, duh.