#31: Beef and Broccoli

The Lineup: The Japanese dude from Inception, John Cusack, the woman from Miami Vice, and Chow Yun-Fat. All looking like they're pissing on a city below.

Fart Factor: An intriguing 5.7 out of 10. Ken Watanabe arches an accusing eyebrow. John Cusack tries to get Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" out of his head, Li Gong bravely sits through the gas, and Chow Yun-Fat wishes he could backflip out of there.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Chow Yun-Fat. You could tell because the fart smelled hard boiled. Get it?

Swamp (G)ass

The Lineup: Tommy Lee Jones, John Goodman, and I think that's a black guy(?) in the marshes.

Fart Factor: 8.1 out of 10. Two veteran actors who once bonded over wearing chains around their necks now scowl at each other with flared nostrils and damaged egos. (Or is it flared egos and damaged nostrils?) Meanwhile, Robert Downey Jr. in blackface wades up to his nuts in smelly slime.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Mary Steenburgen. She had a burrito for lunch.

Unfortunate Album Cover of the Month

*MELODIC LOUD FART*

The Stink of Insoles

Fashion photography has been woefully under-represented on this blog. So today we explore the fart situation of the home page of Florsheim Shoes:


The Lineup: Christian Bale-ish, Girl who looks like a fucking alien, and a younger, thinner Donal Logue.

Fart Factor: A medium 7 out of 10. Christian Bale-ish thought he heard the train's air brakes; Girl with enormous head with wide-set eyes and no ears tries to hurry by the smell, and young Donal Logue regrets not bringing a coat on the long trip.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Girl with tiny neck that can barely support her gigantic skull

C-C-C-Cold-Farted

The Lineup: Paula Abdul and the proud, sculpted likeness of the Greek god Mercury in a leather jacket, both starring in the straight-to-video romance "Harlequi$4.99 Sweet Deals"

Fart Factor: A dense 8 out of 10. Paula looks acutely ashamed of the blue mist she left her friend in. He however, tries to nobly hold his breath for as long as he can. Paula leans on a nearby wall either out of exhaustion or because she's drunk again.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Simon! What?????

Smells Like Hell.

The Lineup: Tom Hanks and a sea of men of the cloth, one of whom is grabbing his crotch (surprise, surprise).
Fart Factor: A weak 4 out of 10. Everyone knows priests fart in their frocks all the time, so locating the source would be as easy as grabbing any of them by the shoulder.
Most Likely Fart Factor: The priest who just passed by the foreground– you see how he opened up his robes? Jeez, somebody light some incense in here.

Unfortunate Book Cover of the Month