The wheels on the bus go pffth pffth pffth.

The Lineup:

Four hungover college students from Texas A&M take the bus back from a debaucherous, regretful evening in which they probably all did each other and don't remember any of it.

Fart Factor:

6 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

If nothing else, one thing is prevalent throughout all facial expressions in this photo: apathy. From the girl begrudgingly texting to her friend thinking about whether or not her compadre wore protection, everyone's defeated at this point. The day-after beer fart let loose by the guy in the sunglasses garners a half-second of entertainment in a sea of bleakness for his orange-shirted buddy, but don't be fooled: this day has no hope. No one else even notices, or cares.

Please Open the Airlock.

The lineup: Commander William T. Riker, Counselor Deanna Troi-Riker, and Dr. Beverly Crusher. God, I am such a nerd.

Warp Factor: 6 out of 10. The close quarters of the Starship Enterprise makes for lots of shared moments amongst its crew. Hermetically-sealed airlocks, shields, and narrow passageways keep the crew in a constant asteroid field of poop ghosts. It doesn't help either that if one were to fart in that onesy uniform, the only escape for the bubble would be at the collar. Here on the medical bay, someone has rendered the entire room non-sterile. Is it Riker? He seems distracted but determined to overcome. Counselor Troi's magnificent schnoz looks like it's picking up life signs that aren't hers. And Dr. Crusher? She definitely seems to be shooting daggers (set on kill) at someone.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Look closely: the always astute Dr. Crusher is pointing her tricorder at the most likely source of the anomoly: Counselor Troi's ass.

Aroma Therapy.

The Lineup:

2 docs finish up another 120-hour work week by releasing some much-needed posterior pressure.  

Fart Factor:

7 out of 10

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

The male and female doctor clearly have a routine. He farts, she basks in the rosy glow. There's something for both of them in this relationship. Stinkybottom, M.D. lets loose here with the type of slow, deliberate gas that can only be caused by a week of hospital cafeteria food. Though it was mostly the pudding.

A sour note.

The Lineup:
The high school band plays the fight song, while one member keys up smells in the key of gross.

Fart Factor:
6 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:
The guy in the back on the xylophone. He looks so sad! If only the sweet plinkety-plink of those keys could drown out his scent. The large redhead looks downright confused, or else is still enjoying the scent of discovery.

And look in the background: the referee even threw a flag!

"I think I tore my Spandex."

The Lineup:

Three guys in Manhattan go running around the city. One lets it fly, then sees his gas propel him to victory. The others are forced to breathe his noxious fumes.

I've had this experience many times. And honestly, it's a conundrum. Whenever I run, I wear headphones, so I often let loose at will. There's no telling who hears it. I just keep running, so it doesn't really affect me.

Fart Factor:

5.5 out of 10

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

I think it's pretty obvious.

Chief Staininshorts.

The Lineup:
Legendary Indian chiefs (from top) Horseback (Comanche), Bloody Mouth (Sioux), Wolf Robe (Cheyenne), and Lazy White Bull (Sioux). They're all great leaders. And with experience and wisdom inevitably comes gas.

Fart Factor:
6.5 out of 10

Most Likely Fart Suspect:
Bloody Mouth looks a bit wide-eyed and guilty, the others look angry, or at the very least, perturbed. It's Bloody Mouth by a mile.

Quick, inhale the asbestos!

The Lineup:

3 construction workers. When you're working your fingernails to the grindstone, you're bound to let a few slip. After all, it's not like you can get any dirtier. These guys may have the most farts per capita of any of our previous posts. Except that bearded fat guy.

Fart Factor:

5 out of 10.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:

The man on the right. What is that hole in the crotch of his pants? Is it part of a burning flame?