Special Guest Entry: "Congratulations, It's A Fart!"

Submitted by old school hip hop DJ John Reid, a terrible Lindsay Lohan vehicle:


The Lineup: Lindsay Lohan looks up at us as we catch her farting an M.

Fart Factor: 8 out of 10. Lindsay's been doing so much coke, she glows and apparently reeks of urine. This has affected her gastrointestinal tract, causing her to excrete out offensive bits of gas. Most recently, "I Know Who Killed Me" and "Herbie Fully Loaded."

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Lindsay, although she'll most likely blame her Dad.

No, It's Not.

The Lineup: The inimitable Meryl Streep and Stephen Baldwin's fat brother star in this year's box office Dutch oven.

Fart Factor: 8 for intensity. 2 for mystery.

Most Likely Fart Factor: PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN.

Did You Hear That?

The Lineup: Hannah Montana and a floating head with frosted tips.

Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. Miley Cyrus heard something loud, and it made her stop smiling for once. The floating head with frosted tips tries to hide behind the sun. And two miniature people hold on tight as the weeds are blown by the enormous ass-wind.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Since floating heads don't typically have anuses, we're going to have to go with Miley Cyrus here. Poot!

STYNK.

The Lineup: What looks like TJ from "The Sopranos," Ryan Phillippe, and the chick from that one 007 movie. And a ray of sunshine lights up the methane.

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. Tony Junior isn't sure if he should bring it up. Ryan Phillippe just hopes the odor doesn't get absorbed by his goatee, and Eva Green could care less if anyone heard it. Got a cigarette?

Most Likely Fart Factor: Follow the sunlight; it's pointing at TJ. Yeah, you!

Oxygen Mask, Please

I don't know what it is about Star Trek or William Shatner, but they both end up on this fart blog a lot.

The Lineup: The great, legendary Shatner, and the gremlin from the classic "Twilight Zone" episode.

Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. Shatner is ashamed. Or repulsed. Or distraught. Or terrified. Or wistful. And the gremlin cannot believe Shatner farted.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

An Album Cover That's Too Easy

Moon Gas? Dick Hyman? This is a third grader's gigglefest.

Personally, I think Mary Mayo is pretty hilarious.

This One's Too Easy

I mean, the title of the movie, the look on the kids' faces, even the tagline are all such softballs for this website. I mean, why not just call it "Farty Farthing and the Forty Fartsters" while you're at it?

If this blog were a lion, it would give this movie poster to its young so they can learn to hunt.