Saturday, November 22, 2008

Can You Feel It?


The Lineup: Oscar winner Forest Whitaker, Virginia Madsen, Minnie... oh hell, you can read, can't you? Shit.

Fart Factor:
6 out of 10. A cloud of mystery surrounds the whole group. Forest tries desperately to look innocent. Minnie Driver is about to take names. Virginia Madsen pretends she's sitting at another table. And Philippe Caland (?????????) contemplates his fate as he dies in a yellow cloud.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Minnie Driver. How do you like them apples?

Friday, November 7, 2008

OUCH!


The Lineup: IT HURTS!!!

Fart Factor: HOLY SHIT!!! I'VE STARTED CRAMPING!!!! WHY DID I GO TO CHIPOTLE?!?!?!!

Most Likely Fart Suspect:
OH GOD IN HEAVEN, IS THAT BLOOD??!!!!!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Contributing To the Smog Problem


The Lineup: Three terrifyingly huge floating heads over L.A. and two men fucking.

Fart Factor: 8 out of 10. Gina Torres' gigantic head definitely smells something and looks over the horizon for the source. Henry Simmons (I'm assuming that's his name since I have yet to meet a black man named Kip) scans the eastern shore. Kip waits around for another smoking gun. Then the two guys keep fucking, unawares of the ass terror coming their way.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Kip. Sure, blame it on the white guy.