Monday, May 24, 2010

Cover Your Nose, Mouth, and Ass

From a Flu Prevention flyer I got at work:

The Lineup: Happy black chick, worried accountant lady, aloof white dude, concerned Asian woman, unconcerned young intern, white-haired dude who's breaking the fourth fucking wall, and Kristen Wiig who just saw the box office receipts for "MacGruber."

Fart Factor: a heavy, dense 8 out of 10. Black chick doesn't smell or care. Worried accountant just gagged, aloof white dude is thinking of a math solution to get him out of there, concerned Asian woman wonders what smells like kobe beef, unconcerned young intern is sexting her boyfriend who's cheating on her, white-haired dude SHOULD NOT BE LOOKING AT THE FUCKING CAMERA, and Kristen Wiig should not have taken the part in "MacGruber."

Most Likely Fart Suspect:
(as circled by Tom Weingard):

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

"It's As If She Evaporated Through the Walls..."

A WFP first: A request by Anonymous:

The Lineup: Let's see... Leonardo Dicaprio standing over a barren miniature prison island. And he had to light a match to belay the stink. Yep, that's it.

Fart Factor: 3 out of 10. No mystery here. Maybe Leonardo is going crazy like he did in "The Beach" or "The Basketball Diaries" or "The Aviator" and suspects someone other than himself.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Himself.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Sound Effect Not Needed

The Lineup: Speed Buggy, Not Fred, Not Daphne, and Not Shaggy

Fart Factor: 8 for loudness. 3 for mystery. The human trio all looking at Speed as if he's right in the middle of one hell of a skidmark-making road ripper. And all three of them apparently sporting wood, too.

Most Likely Fart Suspect:Daphne! Trademark twist ending! BRRRRRAAAP!!