Tuesday, July 29, 2014

A Solid Pop Hit

The Lineup: Ronnie Hawkins (who?) on his LP release, "Rockin'."

Fart Factor: A rockin' 8.4. With one leg up and a hand ready to wave it away, Ronnie serves it up like a 6-year old starter at a tee-ball championship.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: It's always, and will always be Ronnie.

Friday, May 30, 2014

"Left Behind," Indeed

The Lineup: Nicolas Cage, Jordin Sparks, and the Nebraska City Theatre Players.

Fart Factor: An apocalyptic 8.4 out of 10. Jordin Sparks tries to wring the odor out of her keffiyeh. Blonde Girl 1 keeps it casual. Nicolas Cage's Face tries to deal with the fact that it was Photoshopped onto Captain Charlie Sheen's body. Froggy Fresh still can't believe you dunked on him. And Blonde Girl 2 keeps it professional. And they all cannot believe lighting farts could decimate a city like that, honest.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Detroit

Monday, February 10, 2014

An Abusive Relationship

From the Hindi movie "Darling:"

The Lineup: Some grunge-loving Indian guy from Seattle, circa 1996 and his gigantic, projected girlfriend.

Fart Factor: 4 out of 10. The girl seems to enjoy how our wifebeater-and-huge-British-Knights-wearing hero cuts one right in her face and then smashes her forehead with his paper-thin geetar.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: LOVE