Friday, October 17, 2025

Matlock That Shit Down


The Lineup: Temu Jonathan Groff, Helmet Hair, Kathy Bates, and two people too insignificant to even mention.

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. In the courtrooms of justice (redundant?), it is the job of attorneys to find the truth and represent it. Here a team that usually works together face off over a leaked brief. Main dude looks defensive. Playmobil snap-on hair appears to be a hostile witness. The peanut gallery seems lost but innocent. And Kathy Bates is looking directly at YOU and wants to call you up to the stand.

Most Likely Suspect: Let's just say somebody had too many Fried Green Tomatoes and dropped a Titanic fart that left her partners in Misery. Dolores Claiborne!