Wednesday, September 30, 2009

New Moon (No Pun Title Needed)


The Lineup: Kristen Stewart, that Robert Pattinson or Patterson guy, and six teen emoters. All in brown mist.

Fart Factor: I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10. From left to right, jock vampire knows what's up. Cheerleader vampire doesn't appreciate the smell. Kristen Stewart turns away but likes how it blows her hair. Robert Pattinson or Patterson or whatever claws Kristen's back as if he's about to squeeze another one out. Blond vampire can barely see or smell anything from back there in the bleachers. Wynonna Judd vampire smirks from afar. Sassy best friend vampire with a bob haircut encourages the farter to ratchet that action up to actual poop, and curly-haired douche vampire will pretend he didn't hear that loud clap.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The werewolves. They always blame the werewolves.

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