C-C-C-Cold-Farted

The Lineup: Paula Abdul and the proud, sculpted likeness of the Greek god Mercury in a leather jacket, both starring in the straight-to-video romance "Harlequi$4.99 Sweet Deals"

Fart Factor: A dense 8 out of 10. Paula looks acutely ashamed of the blue mist she left her friend in. He however, tries to nobly hold his breath for as long as he can. Paula leans on a nearby wall either out of exhaustion or because she's drunk again.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Simon! What?????

Silent But Deadly.

The lineup: Seven of the wives from the polygamist compound in Colorado. Right now, they're all sharing more than just a husband. And in just a few minutes from now, the air will give them all perms.

Fart Factor: 4 out of 10. Driven by fear and shame, these ladies turn to CNN's Larry King to sort out the source of the gas leak. Larry thanks the gods the interview is being conducted via satellite.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The one with the Zune.