Viva La Flatulance!

The Lineup: French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy and First Lady of Cameroon Chantal Biya listen to a speech by French President Nicolas Sarkozy. And somebody cut the fromage, n'est ce pas?

Fart Factor: A térrible 6 out of 10. The French hold firm in their stand against bio-weapons, while the Cameroons (Cameroonians?) escalate the tension with strong accusations under a mushroom cloud of hair.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: The sovereign nation of Cameroon. THIS IS AN ACT OF WAR!

Swamp Gas

The Lineup: (from left) Nobody, Nobody, Nobody, Nobody, and Nobody. And a tagline that bubbles up to the surface.

Fart Factor: A+. First dude is really pissed about it. Second dude is still taking in a whiff. The first two girls are daydreaming about a fart-free Louisiana, and the third girl wishes she hung out with Seniors for a change.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Guy #2. He's kind of proud about it.

The Stink and I

The Lineup: Nell and not Yul Brynner.

Fart Factor: 6 out of 10. In a battle of wills, East collides with West, and a rank cirrus cloud of stank permeates through the silk. Jodie Foster begs the king's pardon, and Chow Yun-Fat smiles through the awkward moment, trying to rise above it.

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Chow.

And Yet Another Unfortunate Album Cover

Alternate titles: Squeezed Dreams, Eurfarting, and No More I Love Yous.

Must...Fan...Air...

The Lineup: The extremely hot Diane Lane, the extremely likeable John Cusack, and the extremely flatulent Walter the Farting Dog.


Fart Factor: 7 out of 10. Diane hotly tries to deflect suspicion away from herself, directing all attention to John...


...but John isn't having it. She's such a scamp that way, that woman! He shoots back a look that says, "No, honey, that was not me" and sends the attention to...


..."Aww man. Why is always blamed on me? I mean, my diet consists mainly of dry dog food and water, so how can something that smells so bad be attributed to me? It's not like I've been the one making drunken trips to Del Taco at 4am. You know what? This is bullshit."

Most Likely Fart Suspect: Diane Lane.

Yet Another Unfortunate Album Cover.

This one from Japan. From the album "Rainbow" by Ayumi Hamasaki, whoever that is: