Mall Flatulanders

If you've never heard of Journeys, next time you're at a mall, look somewhere between the Structure and the Hot Topic. It's there. And their excellent Holiday catalog gives a revealing look at its target audience: teens who like to bundle up while 'hanging loose' and 'chillin' indoors.


The lineup: Unisex Canvas Jacket with Pockets, $39.95; Women's Chocolate Nylon jacket with faux fur trim, $45.00; Plaid Thermal, $24.00; White Fur Hoodie, $40.00, and "Fresh To Death" T-Shirt, Charcoal, $20.00.


Unisex Canvas Jacket is ALL denial. Like he even does that. Come on, guys, seriously!


The trio of women's wear aren't even hearing it. They're all like, "We totally heard you, so don't even act like you didn't!"


Meanwhile, late-twentysomething-trying-to-look-teenager is all, "Dude. Don't even look here for any backup. Like, you're on your own. And I'm in the military, by the way."

Fart Factor: 7.8 out of 10

Most likely fart suspect: In case you thought maybe he was too cool to do something as stupid as fart in front of chicks, consider this: